Thursday, March 5, 2009

10 Years today.....

I was just a little sister, who had really only known my brother being sick and going to see him at the hospital or just knowing that he was there, and not being able to go see him there. It was a Friday night and my mom took Donald and I out to dinner and a movie, we saw "The Other Sister." When we walked through the door that night the phone was ringing, and it was my dad saying that we needed to get up the hospital because Kenneth had phnemonia and it wasn't looking to good. When we got to the hospital and went into his room and sat and talked and waited. Then it came time for Donald and I to say goodbye because we would be going to the Houghtons for the night because we didn't know how long Kenneth would be like that. Not knowing that it would be the last time we said goodbye to him. Anyways, we left the hospital just as planned and were almost to the house when Hettie's phone rang to get back to the hospital because things had taken a turn for the worst. We missed him passing away by about 10 minutes and when we walked in the room it was really somber and quiet. It was a feeling that I will never forget but certainly can't describe. After that night, it was followed by a couple of days of confusion with my sisters all coming back in town and people coming over and even going with my parents to plan every detail of his funeral. That was an experience in and of itself with everyone that came to the funeral, and even the viewing. After that I remember going to Ruidoso, just our family to have a few days to relax and just be together. Sorry if this is so long but I don't think that I have ever written it down like this.

Thinking of him comes in waves, and it seems more recently I have thought of him more often. Weither its in my car and our song comes on the radio or Kristin and I sit around and talk about what it would be like if he was still alive. What would he be like, how would our family dynamic be. Its so wonderful to know what we know with the gospel but sometimes it doesn't make it any easier.

10 comments:

The Jessups said...

What a nice post. I remember going to see Christmas lights that Christmas before, in the big van with all you "eastsiders", Kenneth, included. You're right--having the gospel in our lives makes us feel comfort when we've lost people, and gives us an amazing understanding, but it doesn't always mean it makes it easier.

The Morgans said...

I don't think it makes it any easier, but at least you know there will be a day when you will see him again. I can't believe it has been 10 years, that sounds like such a long time. You should write down everything about him, and what you remember so that when it is 20, 30 and 40 years later and so on your kids can read all about their uncle.

RonJohn said...

too bad we all just couldn't of grown old together. I always try to think of who and where Kenneth would be if he had had his health. and now i even wonder more so what it is he and Ashley are doing this very moment. time will tell i guess! Miss him.

Dulcie said...

That was a sweet post. It is such a comfort the be members of the church, and to have such a strong belief in life after death. It's amazing how those who have passed on make us want to be the best version of ourselves so we can be together again. Thanks for sharing that story.

Ryan & Amber said...

Wow, 10 years! Those times when you think of him all of the sudden, is the times that he is probably right there with you. It is good that you can still remember him. Do you still let the balloons go every year? I think that is the coolest idea.

Marie said...

Amanda, those are very sweet memories of your brother. I remember Kenneth before and after he was diagnosed and he was always such a pleasure to be around. So full of smiles and laughter. This post is very sweet and a great way to remember him always.

Megan and Jon said...

Miss Amanda I'm still reading hope that is okay, I went private send me your email so I can invite you.

nvfi@aol.com

Melanie and Jarom said...

Kenneth's passing was my first real experience with death- so strange and surreal to think he was really gone for now. I remember being amazed with how well your family held it together- you could see the testimonies you had and I had so many missionary experiences with my friends who attended the funeral because of that. Also, what your dad said at Ashley's funeral was so amazing. I felt the Spirit stronger than ever at that moment and I knew that Kenneth was with Ashley. So cool.

KuteKings said...

Hello Amanda!!

I am so glad I came across your blog today! What sweet and tender words. Thanks for sharing--I have great memories of fun times with Kenneth at seminary, church and school. He always had the latest information and a great smile on his face.

Daryl and Ashley said...

The Gospel is so wonderful to have. I can't imagine not thinking I would never see my son again. I am sure your mom feels that same way. As, I am sure you do too.